It was the night before Christmas (and all through the house…just kidding, I couldn’t help myself) when I fell asleep while watching my favorite holiday flick. I must confess that I have my own little Christmas Eve tradition when home at my parent’s house. Long after the board games are put away and the final gifts are wrapped and placed under the tree, I plop myself on the couch to watch my favorite Christmas movie, It’s a Wonderful Life!

It is tragic if you have not seen this movie. Because we are friends, I will ignore this lapse in judgment, but you must promise me that you will not let this next Christmas season go by without watching it. Trust me, it is worth it. So for those of you who haven’t seen the movie, let me give you a quick trailer.

The film takes place in the fictional town of Bedford Falls shortly after World War II and stars Jimmy Stewart as George Bailey, a man whose attempted suicide on Christmas Eve gains the attention of a guardian angel, Clarence, who is sent to help him in his hour of need. Most of the film is told through flashbacks spanning George's entire life and narrated by unseen angels who are preparing Clarence for his mission to save George. Through these flashbacks we see all the people whose lives have been touched by George and the difference he has made to the community in which he lives.

Ironically, George Bailey is a man who walked through the wilderness of unmet desire. He longed for a life of adventure, he desired to travel and see the world. Yet George’s life was confined to Bedford Falls, and he never did stretch his wings and fly away. I love the last scene of this movie. In it he discovers his life is not one of disappointment but rather divine appointment. Surrounded by his family and friends, George Bailey realizes it is a really good thing that life didn’t go according to his plan.  For there was a better plan for George Bailey, and it took an angel in need of wings to reveal this truth to him.

A few years ago during my Christmas tradition I drifted off to sleep somewhere after George Bailey crashed his car. But I wasn’t asleep long before I was awakened by a noise. Once awake I realized it was the sound of burglars breaking into our house!  No, I wasn’t dreaming about the Grinch, these were real-life present stealers sneaking in to steal Christmas. Wide-eyed and frightened, I jump off the couch and did the only thing this Texas girl knew to do in a situation like this, I yelled, “Daddy, get the gun!”

Those four words sent those two would-be present bandits running for the county line. It seems my dad’s gun collection is infamous to more than just my ex-boyfriends. So when I yelled for armed backup, the robbers bolted out the door.

Over an hour later, after the police came and went, and the tree was double checked for missing trinkets, I found myself back on the couch where the whole ordeal began. Wrapped in a blanket and watching George Bailey discover…it is a wonderful life.

There was absolutely no way I was going to fall asleep after that ordeal.  My heart was pounding so loudly I could hear the thud. And then my imagination began to take over, and I played through my mind all of the “what ifs” of the evening. I needed to rest but I was too wound-up and freaked-out to get any shut eye.

I stared at the TV for another ten minutes before I heard the sound of dad walking through the house. His walk is unmistakable. A small man he is not, so when he is coming—you know it. Dad came in the family room where I was watching TV and took a seat in his chair.

There is something about dad’s presence. Almost instantly, I lowered my head onto the sofa cushion and watched as Bedford Falls celebrated George’s return home and the saving of the old Building and Loan. It is one of my favorite moments in movie history. I especially enjoyed the sweetness of it this night. For that scene says, “Everything is going to be OK.”

And something in my heart felt that was the case. For when my dad entered the room and sat in his chair, my worried heart ceased fretting and my breathing returned to the slow deep breaths of the weary. Within minutes I was fast asleep.

Reflecting on that night I know there was a deep connection between my ability to rest and my belief. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that with my father in the room I was completely safe. Nothing and no one would harm me. My confidence in that truth told my worried heart to “fret not” and my anxious mind to fear not—all would be just fine. And this girl went fast to sleep. 

Living with unmet desires is much the same. It’s so easy to get wound up with the “what ifs” of the future. When we let ourselves go there and dwell in worry, life becomes miserable. I truly believe the lesson of Psalm 37 is this…chill out. When we start believing that God does care about our hearts and he still knows how to run the Universe, then we can stop our fretting and rest.  I know I too will have a “wonderful life” because my Heavenly Father sits on “his chair”…which just happens to be his throne in heaven.

Looking back over the wilderness season, I can honestly say the area I’ve changed the most is this: I am a woman at rest. God has so proven his faithfulness that I am far less likely to worry and fret about my unmet desires or the unknown future. What’s changed? I know God’s “no” in my past was the best thing that ever happened to me. As a result, I trust him even more with my future. I rest believing God’s plan is far better than my plan.  While his way may not align with my way or come to pass on my timetable, I can cease fretting because I know God is good. I know he is in control. And most importantly, I know I can trust him.

excerpt from Wilderness Skills for Women by Marian Jordan